So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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