I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Randomize
