He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
