people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
