he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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