i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
