She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize