I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I want to have your abortion
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
