your thong is hanging out like whoa
In the future we'll all be gay
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
