I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
We got so high we made milksteak
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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