i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
