So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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