who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
