Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
we're so committed to being not committed
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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