If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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