everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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