By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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