when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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