Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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