let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
