I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Randomize
