well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
