There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
i think i just lost a toe
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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