Whod you bang
Swine flu. Run for my life!
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
this is an emotional support booty call
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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