when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Randomize
