I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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