Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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