there was a trapeze. enough said
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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