You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
