this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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