Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
