left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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