sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
3pm strippers are depressing
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
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