I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
