I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
