We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
i am craving dick and cupcakes
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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