Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
