I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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