yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
