Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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