So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
