okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
