gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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