names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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