You're so nebulous sometimes
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
