Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize