y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize