so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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