I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
