Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Quick, to the slutcave!
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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