He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Randomize
