I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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