If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
