what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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