Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
