So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
