Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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