I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I'm both gender and math confused
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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