So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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